it 4am now.. i dunno what am i doing here. i guess i got insomnia haha..
anyway goodnite and sweetdream guys haha
byebye haix... haha
Fml haha
Sorry guys, another sad poem from me. Why all this thing happening to me? I feel really sad and helpless.
In depths of night,
I think of you,
Like waves crushing the silent shore,
You kept coming back,
Disturbing my sleep,
Until the break of dawn...
In depths of night,
Your image,
Fills my empty room,
Bringing back our days,
Our dreams,
Nobody else could understand...
Like sunset fading at dusk,
You left me in solitude,
My life ends,
When memories,
Are scattered,
Like dust...
Today is xmas and merry xmas to everyone to read my blog.
It's a lonely xmas for me. And this suddenly come into my mind.
Continuously seeking fulfillment
Only to have war rage on
Where is the peace in anguish?
Tirelessly I search for a treaty
Empty handed and exhausted
Constantly stumbling through life
Missing a vital part of my soul
Calling for you endlessly
Only to be met with haunting echoes
Trying to push away thoughts of you
But my heart refuses to compromise
Even my flesh aches for you
My spirit seems weak and daunted
But still I wait for you...
I really had a bad week this week and i dont like and enjoy this week at all. haha i thought everything would be better by today, sunday which is the last day of this week. It was ok actually and i start planning since morning.. I get everything done early in the morning. Like my car wash rountine. just because i wanna go out and have fun today. To release all my unhappiness in this one whole week. I tried to plan things out.. planing.. planing.. planing.. In the end things cant work out again. Fml.
I think 'Fml' this phrase really suit my life for now loh. I feel like everythin just turn out like not the way i wanted. Felt kinda disappointed days after days.Fml. I feel that there lots of things had changed but i'm the only one still keep to my old mind and hang on somethings and some hopes. I think it's time for me to do some changes because i really dont like the way i been treated for now. I really got many problems recently and there is no one for me to share my problems with. Fml.
tonight i will be all alone again at home. hate it alot but what to do. Fml.
this will just be a short update from me haha.. i guess this will a better post compared to previous post because today i will not going to talk about how sad is my day. today my day considered ok. But i didnt eat anything for lunch today haha.. kinda hungry but really no mood and appetide to eat anything this afternoon. haha
Tonight i went to Sharing Planet to have dinner with my mum haha.. I ordered the most exp chicken chop there and my mum ordered Double cheesyland haha. Felt so happy haha..
tell you guys something haha.. Whenever i feel down, i will be happy again by eating my fav food. I spent the most on food because food and eating can cheer me up haha.
My mum suggest we go Mr. Ho at crown square for xmas dinner haha.
Mum: Eh let go Mr. Ho for xmas dinner?
Me: The food there is kinda exp.
Mum: You chia me eat right?
Me: *silent* urm can. but loan from you 1st.
Mum: where got like that?
Me: can. i will pay u back afer i start working.
Mum: ohh alright then. Sure. Pay triple. Deal?
Me: Deal hahaha...
Both of us laughed. Actually i like to talk to my mum haha..
Well that all about my day today. Goodbye..
Actually i wanted to make things better today but everything is screwed up again. Fml. I always think that i can make things better but i always wrong about that. I only know how to make things worse but not better. Sigh haix.. i think i dunno how to be happy anymore. i dunno who the one can be there for me. I always hope for things can turn out like how i wanted, but disappointment come again and again. i started to afraid to give any hope in everthing, started to lose my confidence in everything. i feel that i should be alone and by myself.Fml.
My life is like getting worse days by days. if only there is someone who understand and would come to me and comfort me, share my problems. I think no one will be there for me. I hate loneliness the most. if only you know that, you would come and find me. if only you understand me, you will msg me.. sigh. Fml.
I will give up in everything. i would return everything to you cause i dunno what to do anymore. I guess Goodbye would be the last word from me.
Lol it has been ages i didnt update this blog but now i update it with my sad stuff again. I feel really disappointed today..
I dunno what to do anymore.FML
FML.FML.FML.